I have always wanted to save the world. When I was in elementary school I befriended every odd girl out partly because I too felt like the odd girl out and partly because I could not stand any injustice or seeing someone else suffer. I grew up in a middle class suburban New Jersey town not too far outside of NYC. My appearance had me fitting in pretty well, with my straight blonde hair, but everything inside of me felt like it did not fit. Both from the feelings inside, of not fitting, and my tender heart, I championed the underdogs, the kids who were clearly VERY different, who were bullied and cast aside. From my kid perspective, I was saving the world and making it right both for others and for myself.
With my rose colored glasses on, I declared that I would study psychology in college, so that I could be a social worker and help those who suffer. My Dad scoffed at the idea, telling me that the world could not be saved and that in trying I would be left sad, depressed and penniless. He thought instead that I should be an accountant. Luckily, for me and any potential accounting clients, I pursued my psychology degree. Now as a forty something and after many detours, I find myself as a healer and yogini. I am still trying to save the world while proudly wearing my rose tinted glasses.

With so much violence, suffering and hatred in the world, how does one remain committed to saving the world AND avoid being depressed and penniless? Practically speaking to the penniless part, make a budget, cut where you can, spend less and give more. I am incredibly rich without having millions in my bank account. I have a home, a car, food each and every day AND I am rich with community, family and health. I am thankful for this abundance. I do not feel badly for having while others do not. I am simply grateful, guilt need not be part of this equation. Give because you can, because your heart and soul demands it. It is the mind that says, “no”.

My mind tells me many, many times over what I can not do. My mind makes up stories, some really crazy stories, about those that suffer that keeps me separate from them. My mind wants to focus on the differences between me and the homeless person, the refugee, the victim of horrible violence and my mind goes on and on. My mind keeps me safe or tries to keep me safe from feeling the weight of the world. Paradoxically the more my mind works at keeping me safe, from feeling the sadness of the world, the more I feel sad. In my early twenties, when I was still pursuing a job in social work I volunteered for several years at a 24 hour crisis hotline. During my weekly 4 hour shift I listened to some pretty bleak stories. I listened with compassion and with an open heart and strangely each week I would leave feeling more in love with life and with greater clarity.

My mind thought this strange but my heart knew that I felt better because I was utilizing its full capacity. We feel great, expansive, energized, engaged when we first fall in love with another person. We feel this because we are fully using our heart muscle. The heart does not distinguish its use whether it is falling in love, being with your child, embracing your grandmother on her deathbed or offering a kind word to a stranger. The heart sings when it is used.

I weep for all the people of the world who are currently suffering and there are many. My heart is heavy with the tragedies and evils of the world. I do not need to blindly forgive the evils but I do have the choice in my own life whether my own heart shall be filled with love as it breaks over and over again. Heartbreak is life, it is how we choose to mend and fill the cracks that makes all the difference in the world. We change the world by allowing our heart’s to break and then mending it one stitch at a time with love and light instead of hatred and darkness.

As John Lennon said, “you may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope some day you’ll join me and the world will live as one”. Shed your tears, be angry at the injustice, hate the evil doers AND love fully. Be an agent of love and light and the world will be saved. Join me, please.